What If: Molson Listened to Rabid Fans…(Parody)
October 21, 2017
By Grant McCagg
Nov. 15, 2017 :
“We announce that yesterday…well actually it was last night…we trade Carey Price to the Vegas Golden Knights for Marc-Andre Fleury, Vadim Shipachev and the rights to Martin Rucinsky’s son.”
The words barely left Habs GM Frederic Landtmeters lips before social media was ablaze. GM Landmeters explained to the media throng that he had little choice but to trade Price after the incident that occurred on Tuesday at the Bell Centre when, after surrendering his tenth goal to the Columbus Blue Jackets on a shot that bounced off four of his teammates’ rear ends, he shattered his stick over the Habs bench and the blade flew up into the crowd and hit Habs owner/president square between the eyes.
Price broke his stick after a staredown with Habs’ coach Sergio Momesso, hired earlier in the season after the Habs’ 1-6-1 start along with Landtmeters, who up until that point was the CEO of Molson Coors Canada.
At the time Molson told the media that he had given much thought to explosion of Twitter messages he kept getting calls for Bergevin’s head..so he decided to listen to his fanbase and do what they wanted in making wholesale changes even though hiring personnel at that time of year with the proper qualifications proved difficult.
“I’ve been listening to Momesso on the radio and TV a lot lately and he seems to make a lot of sense, so Frederic and I agreed to hire him to coach,” said Molson, who also named Stephane Richer and Michael Ryder assistant coaches. “They may not have any coaching experience..but they scored a lot of goals in Montreal..so I’m thinking they can teach these guys to put the puck in the net.”
Since the trio of former Habs was hired to coach the team the club has gone 1-10, but Molson doesn’t foresee making any more changes.
“Frederic told me things will turn around, and I’m putting my trust in him…if we ever get into a beer war I’d want him in the drum right beside me.”
Fans aren’t any more pleased after the club has played even worse since making the changes, but Molson has decided to take a different break form social media.
“I’ve stopped reading my Twitter messages,” said Molson, who wouldn’t go into details. “Things will be fine. Besides…Ryder already has five of the players smoking…that is pleasing (Imperial Tobbaco’s) Iain Napier to no end.”
What about the Pacioretty trade that people are also demanding!