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What If: Molson Listened to Rabid Fans…(Parody)

October 21, 2017

By Grant McCagg

Nov. 15, 2017 :

“We announce that yesterday…well actually it was last night…we trade Carey Price to the Vegas Golden Knights for Marc-Andre Fleury, Vadim Shipachev and the rights to Martin Rucinsky’s son.”

The words barely left Habs GM Frederic Landtmeters lips before social media was ablaze. GM Landmeters explained to the media throng that he had little choice but to trade Price after the incident that occurred on Tuesday at the Bell Centre when, after surrendering his tenth goal to the Columbus Blue Jackets on a shot that bounced off four of his teammates’ rear ends, he shattered his stick over the Habs bench and the blade flew up into the crowd and hit Habs owner/president square between the eyes.

Price broke his stick after a staredown with Habs’ coach Sergio Momesso, hired earlier in the season after the Habs’ 1-6-1 start along with Landtmeters, who up until that point was the CEO of Molson Coors Canada.

At the time Molson told the media that he had given much thought to explosion of Twitter messages he kept getting calls for Bergevin’s head..so he decided to listen to his fanbase and do what they wanted in making wholesale changes even though hiring personnel at that time of year with the proper qualifications proved difficult.

“I’ve been listening to Momesso on the radio and TV a lot lately and he seems to make a lot of sense, so Frederic and I agreed to hire him to coach,” said Molson, who also named Stephane Richer and Michael Ryder assistant coaches. “They may not have any coaching experience..but they scored a lot of goals in Montreal..so I’m thinking they can teach these guys to put the puck in the net.”

Since the trio of former Habs was hired to coach the team the club has gone 1-10, but Molson doesn’t foresee making any more changes.

“Frederic told me things will turn around, and I’m putting my trust in him…if we ever get into a beer war I’d want him in the drum right beside me.”

Fans aren’t any more pleased after the club has played even worse since making the changes, but Molson has decided to take a different break form social media.

“I’ve stopped reading my Twitter messages,” said Molson, who wouldn’t go into details.  “Things will be fine.  Besides…Ryder already has five of the players smoking…that is pleasing (Imperial Tobbaco’s) Iain Napier to no end.”

About Grant McCagg

Read "A Scout's Story" to learn more.

View all posts by Grant McCagg

  • Richard McAdam says

    October 21, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    What about the Pacioretty trade that people are also demanding!

  • Patrick Moss says

    October 21, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    This is silly. I don’t know of a single smart fan who is advocating for any of this.

    If a Bergy had just stood pat the past 16 months and drafted the players Timmins wanted to draft…. this is what the lineup would look like.

    Max – Galchenyuk – Radu
    DeBrincat – Danault – Gallagh
    Hudon – Pleks – Lehkonnen
    Mitchell – Jdlr – Byron

    Markov – PK
    Mete – Petry
    Sergachev – S. Girard

    That’s it. And that’s a much better lineup than the current one. Yes Grant, a one year offer for $5million was on the table for Markov and Bergy refused to raise it to 6. Yes, the PK trade is a disaster. They need a puck moving D who can fit into the fast, young modern NHL. Weber doesn’t do that. Yes, Bergy was stubborn and arrogant with Radu. And yes, that Shaw trade was awful the minute it happened, every intelligent fan was screaming for Girard and DeBrincat instead – Timmins included (per his public statements).

    These past 16 months have been awful for Bergy. Awful. And now his team is stuck. No identity. No confidence. No vision. Just massive overreactions.

    • Grant McCagg says

      October 21, 2017 at 11:39 pm

      Yes…parodies are often silly. GM’s don’t stop scouts from drafting players…and you have no clue who Trevor might have picked if he had certain elections.

      I will never criticize the Shaw deal as he got two 2nds back for Eller…so in reality the deal was Eller for Shaw.

      • Patrick Moss says

        October 22, 2017 at 2:40 am

        Timmins went public with who he was scouting. Before and after the draft. Google it. Girard and DeBrincat. That’s a fact. Another fact: we traded two 2nd rounders in the very deep 2016 draft for Shaw. That is NOT the same was what we got for Eller: 2nd round picks in 2017 and 2018. Why isn’t it the same? Because every draft is different. And the 2016 draft was mucho-deep. Your unwillingness to criticize the Shaw deal confuses me. I like Shaw fine. I like Weber fine. But the players we traded away for them were much better suited to the current game, and to the Habs. That’s bad GMing, whether you want to admit it or not.

        • Brian Wilde says

          October 22, 2017 at 8:19 am

          While this may be true I don’t see where there’s a guarantee that you get the player that you want. Instead this seems to me that Timmins is quite the genius. The Shaw trade may not work out because he has concussion issues now. Also the math that players make it in the second round is only at around 25 percent. So there’s the other side of the coin. There are a lot of unknowns that are not guarantees that these two players would have been surely Habs. If it were as simple as those 2 players guaranteed seeing that they actually had NHL skills versus a now concussed Shaw then it’s a no brainer. But that crystal ball wasn’t seen by mere mortal humans. Thanks for the post. But I think you’re gonna find some kickback with the insinuation that anyone refuses to criticize Bergevin as I think you’ll find quite a lot of it here though each person finds their own path to reason and each person is right in their own mind.

          • Daniel Hinotic says

            October 22, 2017 at 12:03 pm

            I think most people who are passionate about hockey, who’ve watched the Hawks a fair bit and who have some knowledge of the business side of things called this trade out the moment it happened. It was a deep draft and those were two excellent picks and instead of trusting his amateur staff Bergevin once again trusted someone in Pro Scouting (who likely also advised him on Pk vs Shea and Ghetto vs Martinsen) and got fleeced by the best managed team in the NHL. I don’t think they were insinuating that many readers weren’t extremely critical of Bergevin but that Grant seems to go to great lengths to defend a man who has not only made critical mistakes but whose hubris towards fans who questioned him completely turned off a segment of the fanbase.

          • Patrick Moss says

            October 23, 2017 at 2:32 am

            Brian – I would second Daniel Hinotick’s post. Almost every intelligent fan I know – and remember, we have access to videos, stats, blogs, bios, tweets, draft reports and all the rest, so while we’re not experts we are informed – but almost every intelligent fan I know hated the Shaw trade the moment it happened. There was a ton of blowback. And the arrogance with which Bergy dealt with the past two off seasons (“I want players who hate to lose” etc), was really off putting. You say that historically, 2nd rounders only have a 25% chance of making it to the NHL. okay. Fine. But that’s on AVERAGE. 2016 was incredibly deep, as Mete is showing. And Timmins was public with who he wanted. Now to your other point of not knowing which players would be available when it was Timmins time to pick: come on Brian. You know better than that. Every team has intel on each other. All scouts talk and gossip. They may not 100% who the other teams select, but there’s no way in hell they leave it up to chance. They know. What I find a little curious is you and Grant – on the Shaw trade and the Weber trade specifically – seem to work yourselves in pretzels trying to find something positive to say about Bergy. Sometimes life isn’t complicated. Bergy messed up with those trades. Big time. Let’s call it out and deal with it and then move on. Thanks for your time and your work and I appreciate the engagement.

          • Brian Wilde says

            October 23, 2017 at 9:49 am

            I guess I am in the minority then. I won’t rewrite my history. I supported the move from a hockey point of view believing that one of the leaders with two cup rings on his fingers was a good deal — He was even playing with Toews on one of the cup runs. He was a vital piece. Now though, he is a shell of himself at 25 and I believe it is the concussion fear. I thought it was a good trade. Clearly, it didn’t work out with Shaw’s issues, and the optics are bad with those two picks doing so well and Timmins liking those players as well, but as I said before the draft you don’t know if someone else also likes those players and they’re even available. I liked the trade at the time. I won’t be a hypocrite and tell you differently today. You’ve seen my logic. You’re of course welcome to disagree and I even encourage it because I want this to be a place of good solid discourse sharing ideas — agreeing with me is not a pre-requisite even in the slightest. Have a good one.

          • Grant McCagg says

            October 23, 2017 at 3:52 pm

            WEll said Brian. I approved of the deal too as Shaw was one of the top four Chicago forwards on two Cup winners..and disappointing playoff results were something I think the team needed to address by getting someone who had been there..done that. No..it hasn’t worked out well..but to now go back and say “What a dumb deal..they could have had DeBrincat”..that is making a lot of assumptions.

            And as I noted earlier..the club dealt two second-round picks for Eller..and they had an extra one before the deal..so they figured they could afford to do it without mortgaging much of the future. Yes..you can say the Habs “might” have picked DeBrincat…but from what I know of the situation there was a darn good chance the Habs weren’t going to pick him if they kept the pick…already plenty of undersized wingers in the system at the time with Hudon, Andrighetto, Gallagher, Byron and others.

            AS far as I’m concerned the club still managed to pick up a first-round talent anyway in Mete….so to consider it a disaster is being overly dramatic.

            And let’s hold off anointing DeBrincat as an NHL superstar just yet…after all those 50-goal seasons in the OHL he has managed one NHL goal so far in nine games…but because it came against the Habs it is that much more in Habs fans’ minds. Yamamoto and DeBrincat are finding things a little different in the regular season than in the exhibition season..and it will be that much tougher in the playoffs as well. I still see Shaw bringing more to a club in the playoffs over the next few seasons than DeBrincat…maybe Alex will prove me wrong…but until further notice..Shaw is still the proven playoff performer…and that is the main reason he was picked up for two second round picks that..as a rule..stand about a 25 percent chance of making an NHL impact.

            So far the deal is Shaw/Ikonen/2nd rd pick in 2019 for Eller/DeBrincat/Krys. I’m not a fan of Krys…Mete is going to be way better. I also think Ikonen is going to be a solid player…who know..he may even end up being as good as DeBrincat at the NHL level…certainly I’m not going to say unequivocally that he won’t. And the Habs still have a 2nd-round pick..and I’m confident Timmins will choose a player that I end up liking much more than Krys. So did Chicago without question win this deal? WEll..so far they have one NHL goal to show for it..I would wait five years before getting too judgmental.

    • Mourad says

      October 23, 2017 at 2:29 pm

      Who is DeBrincat?

  • Scott Murray says

    October 22, 2017 at 8:43 am

    Brilliant parody! As one who remembers (painfully) seeing the then beer ambassador Rejean Houle thrust into hyper-Peter-Principal territory as Habs GM and the hiring of another thin-skinned career journeyman as coach, I thank you for the hearty laugh. We all wish we could snap our fingers and help our team snap out of this mega-funk.

    Too much solid leadership in the current coaching staff to let the entire season get derailed. I think they knew the season started off with a tough schedule at a time the boys were still solidifying how to play together – and learn Julien-style hockey in full. It’s just nuts how bad Carey has been in conjunction with all the forwards lacking finish.

    If there was ever a time for leaders in the room to stand up and show the youth how to keep your shit together in times like this… how is it the best example game in and game out is the raw 19 year old Mete?

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